Pat Swilling, 1992 Pro Line Portraits (Shameful Sunday Portraits No. 70)

Name: Pat Swilling
Team: New Orleans Saints
Position: Linebacker
Value of card: Bark
Key 1992 stat: 27 trees hid under during lightning storms
This quiz is swill: How come Pat Swilling's relaxing half-naked under an oak tree?

A) You got a better idea on how to spend a Tuesday?
B) Waiting for you, sweetheart. Just waiting for you.
C) He's getting back to his roots.
D) He's trying to sneak a peek up Kosar's shorts.
E) All of the above.

Pat Swilling, 1992 Pro Line Portraits (Shameful Sunday Portraits No. 70)

David Robinson, 1992-93 Skybox Flagship Series (NBA Playoffs Week No. 3)

Name: David Robinson
Team: San Antonio Spurs
Position: Center
Value of card: 71 seaman jokes
Key 1992-93 stat: Zero restful sleep
It's time for a military-style Caption, that likely didn't run in the Stars and Stripes circa 1992: "David Robinson sleeps in a pose that almost certainly won't lead to a back injury later in his career on a bunk next to a hybrid telephone-coffee maker after sneaking aboard the USS Toledo as part of a wild night with his former classmates at the U.S. Naval Academy reunion Saturday in Annapolis, Md."

David Robinson, 1992-93 Skybox Flagship Series (NBA Playoffs Week No. 3)

Tom Miller, 1971-72 O-Pee-Chee (Stanley Cup Week No. 4)

Name: Tom Miller
Team: New York Islanders
Position: Forward
Value of card: Zzzzzzzzz
Key 1970-71 stat: Zzzzzzzzz
Hit the sack: You're getting sleepy. Sllleeeeepppyy. It's been a long day, buddy. There, there. You should take a load off and turn in for the night. Take off those heavy gloves. There you go. Put the kneepads away and get into your PJs. Now you're comfortable, huh, buddy? Yeah, pull up those covers, right up to that bushy little mustache of yours. Warm enough? Need some milk? Oh, you're sleepy. Are your eyelids getting heavy? Just close those baby-blues. Close 'em. Close 'em. There you go, Tommy. Sweet dreams of fast ice and Zambonis. Nighty-night.

Card submitted by Douglas Corti

Tom Miller, 1971-72 O-Pee-Chee (Stanley Cup Week No. 4)