Teams: Kansas City Royals
Positions: First base, third base
Value of card: Not sure, but it depreciates with age
Key 1992 stat: Three decades with mediocre team
It's time for a Kansas City edition of The Matchup:
Round 1: Homeless kid hair (Winner: Young Brett)
Round 2: Face crevasses (Winner: Old Brett)
Round 3: Ability to grow eyebrows (Winner: Young Brett)
Round 4: Two first names, aka likelihood of subversive behavior (Winner: Tie)
Round 5: Massive teeth gap (Winner: Young Brett)
Round 6: Abundance of moles (Winner: Young Brett)
Round 7: Hat from a toilet (Winner: Young Brett)
Round 8: Ability to look at camera (Winner: Old Brett)
Round 9: Freakish resemblance to Dale Murphy (Winner: Young Brett)
Score: Young Brett 6, Old Brett 2, Ties 1
Synopsis: Dale Murphy Young George Brett proves age ain't nothing but a number in his shellacking of his older self, whose orangish glow can't overcome a boy who excelled in special-education classes.
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And to think, Levitra Hat Tonic must really seem to work for Old Brett?
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