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Team: Philadelphia Phillies
Position: Pitcher, belly itcher
Value of card: Dead pigeon stuffed in bag, cooked in microwave for four minutes (gross)
Key 1985 stat: Two lenses, one flip
Time for a disgusting pop quiz:
What makes Kevin so gross?
(A) The leftover chewing tobacco that looks like a mustache.
(B) The back hair that has grown to resemble a mullet.
(C) The gaping crevices behind his flip shades.
(D) His last name.
(E) All of the above.
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