Name: Dick Perez
Team: Donruss
Position: Diamond King artist
Value of card: Four ounces of ink, spilled on your pants
Key 1993 stat: One copy purchased of "A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man"
Is Dick Perez having a medical emergency? First off, here he is, ladies and gents, the man, the myth, the legend: Dick Perez. He spent many years tormenting us with these Diamond King cards, and we've now done the same in return. But is he having a medical emergency? His hair definitely is not. That helmet could absorb a 96-mph fastball. His beard is trimmed neatly, showing good dexterity and fashion sense. But patches of skin on his face are blue, and that's never a good sign. He may be losing oxygen to the brain, which would explain how this thing ever saw the light of day.

It's not surprising that this moron could not even make himself look good.
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