Mark McLemore, 1998 Score

Name: Mark McLemore
Team: Texas Rangers
Position: Second base
Value of card: Four frames of B-roll
Key 1997 stat: One Golden Globe
Lights, camera, action: When he wasn't playing baseball for Texas, Mark McLemore would fill in as a cameraman during Rangers broadcasts, as seen above. But that wasn't Mark's only experience behind the camera. Here are a few of his other, lesser-seen productions:

• A failed TV reality show starring Bengie, Yadier and Jose Molina called "Nonstop Squatting"
• A hotdog-eating contest between Pudge Rodriguez and a wolf
• Naughty time with Mrs. McLemore
• His daughter's fourth birthday party (half taped over with an Evander Holyfield fight)
• Seven minutes of smartphone footage of the inside of his pocket

Mark McLemore, 1998 Score

Dave Stewart, 1991 Upper Deck

Name: Dave Stewart
Team: Oakland A's
Position: Ace
Value of card: 11 rolls of overexposed Fuji film
Key 1990 stat: Zero photos that made the front page
Dave Stewart was an accomplished amateur photographer; here are some of his greatest shots:

• A nearly nude portrait of his friend and third-person speaker extraordinaire Rickey Henderson.
• A shot of teammate Mark McGwire posing as a lumberjack.
• An artistic triptych of Jose Canseco admiring a pop fly to left.
• A seething, beautiful shot that's totally not too close to the face of catcher Ron Hassey.
• A no-nonsense look at closer Dennis Eckersley and his Hall of Fame mullet and mustache.
• An adorable self-portrait. Awwwwwwwww.

Dave Stewart, 1991 Upper Deck

Barry Bonds (and Ken Griffey Jr.), 1996 Upper Deck (V.J. Lovero Showcase Week No. 1)

Name: Barry Bonds (feat. Ken Griffey Jr.)
Team: San Francisco Giants
Position: Outfield
Value of card: Overbidding in the Showcase Showdown on "The Price is Right"
Key 1995 stat: Five fingers (that's four more than he usually gave photographers)
Just in time for the MLB playoffs, it's V.J. Lovero Showcase Week: When talented Sports Illustrated photographer V.J. Lovero died in 2004, he left behind many great baseball images, as well as one of the most ridiculous baseball card subsets of all time, the 1996 Upper Deck V.J. Lovero Showcase. This week, we're highlighting seven of the most absurd shots from that collection, all intended to show MLB stars at their most colorful (and we all know how well that's turned out before).
Something's amiss: There's something unusual about this card, but we just can't put our finger on it. It's not Griffey, with his hat turned backward, smile on his face       the Kid always seemed to be smiling in the mid-'90s. It's definitely not Barry, waving away a member of the media with a look of displeasure. That's par for the course. It's not even that ad on the fence for Arrowhead Water, so cool and refreshing after a day (OK, three innings) of patrolling the outfield during a spring training game. Wait a sec ... spring training ... that's it! A cloudy day in Phoenix? Unheard of. What, did it start raining toads next?

Barry Bonds (and Ken Griffey Jr.), 1996 Upper Deck (V.J. Lovero Showcase Week No. 1)

Chuck Finley, 1994 Upper Deck

Name: Chuck Finley
Team: California Angels
Position: Pitcher
Value of card: One Kenny G cassette tape
Key 1993 stat: Zero notes played in tune
Top 10 cover bands Chuck Finley pretended he formed:
10) Van Flailin'
9) Bruce Swingsteen and the E-3 Band
8) Ice T-ball
7) Rage Against the Pitching Machine
6) Pink Cliff Floyd
5) System of a Rundown
4) The Uncle Charlie Daniels Band
3) Yo La Swingo
2) The Who's On First
1) ... And You Shall Know Us By the Trail of Tobacco Spit

Chuck Finley, 1994 Upper Deck

Bryan Cox, 1996 Score (Football Friday No. 140)

Name: Bryan Cox
Team: Miami Dolphins
Position: Linebacker
Value of card: Six balls of discarded finger tape
Key 1995 stat: Two middle fingers for the fans in Buffalo
Football, you're doing it wrong: Bryan Cox came to games prepared. He studied opposing offenses. He spent hours in the weight room. He practiced and practiced and practiced. And he was serious about avoiding injury, too. He knew if he got injured it wouldn't just hurt him; it would hurt his teammates, his coaches and Dolphins fans. So he took extra precautions that many players thought unnecessary. He used a nasal strip to ensure he would breathe right. He taped his fingers to protect pinkies that could get broken in a dogpile. He even wore a triple-layered neck pad behind his head that stuck out almost as much as it made him stick out. But despite all of these safety steps, Cox kept suffering injuries to his face, and no matter what he did or how long and hard he thought about it, he couldn't figure out why.

Bryan Cox, 1996 Score (Football Friday No. 140)

Jeff Leonard, 1985 Topps

Name: Jeffrey Leonard
Team: San Francisco Giants
Position: Outfield
Value of card: Less than one star
Key 1984 stat: Refused to wear team-issued clothing
When flash photography goes wrong: We were going to make our typical brand of jokes about Jeff Leonard, his nondescript clothing, his backward hat, and (as usual) his mustache, but we've been partially blinded by the light reflecting off his forehead. Just because this is an all-star card, doesn't mean it needs to have a light source comparable to sun, Topps!

Card contributed by FatShawnKemp

Jeff Leonard, 1985 Topps

Carlos Perez, 1996 Donruss Rated Rookie

Name: Carlos Perez

Team: Montreal Expos

Position: Pitcher

Value of card: Three bullets, for a finger gun

Key 1995 stat: Four 1990s fashion necessities (backward hat, Oakley Blades, mock turtleneck, ridiculous bulge)

Conversation between Donruss photographer and Donruss editor, March 14, 1996:

Donruss photographer: "So, what do you think of this shot?"

Donruss editor: "Well, where do I start ..."

DP: "So you like it?"

Editor: "No, I don't like it. I don't like the shot and I don't like the guy."

DP: "Carlos Perez is one of the hottest rookies this season."

Editor: "I don't care. This guy is breaking every rule in the book."

DP: "Like what?"

Editor: "Like his backward hat. This isn't a home run derby. This is the national pastime."

DP: "C'mon, he's just having fun."

Editor: "Fun? You call those late-1980s Oakley Blades fun? This guy's a pitcher for chris'sakes."

DP: "He's a character. We should embrace him."

Editor: "Embrace him? He's pointing a finger gun at the camera. Who is this guy?"

DP: "He's the youngest brother in the Perez family. You remember Pascual and Melido, right?"

Editor: "That's exactly my point. He's a fool, just like his brothers. He's wearing a mock turtleneck on a hot day. He's all style, no substance."

DP: "That's part of what makes this shot so memorable."

Editor: "The only thing anyone is going to remember about this shot is the snake-like bulge twisting down to his knee."

DP: "Well, this is the only shot of him I got."

Editor: "Just cover up most of his junk with a big square and print this piece of crap."

DP: "Will do, boss."

Editor: (shakes head, takes shot of whiskey)

Carlos Perez, 1996 Donruss Rated Rookie