Emmitt Smith, 1994 Coca-Cola Monsters of the Gridiron (Halloween Week 2012 No. 5)

Name: Emmitt Smith, aka "Lone Star Sheriff"
Team: Callous Cowboys
Position: Running back
Fright value of card: Tetanus
Key 1994 splat: Wore sheet metal
Emmitt Smith's train of thought from 4:02 to 4:04 p.m., Feb. 23, 1994: "Well, looks like I'll be firing my agent. I mean, what the hell am I wearing right now? I'm holding a football that looks like a gigantic drill bit, they put makeup on me for no discernible reason, and my shoulder pads used to be part of a storage shed. Plus, they gave me a 10-gallon hat that spent most of its life as a 10-gallon pail. And since when is a sheriff a monster? Well, OK, Michael Irvin might think so, but I find that offensive! That's it, I'm protesting this shoot by making the saddest face I can."

Emmitt Smith, 1994 Coca-Cola Monsters of the Gridiron (Halloween Week 2012 No. 5)

Emmitt Smith, 1993 Pro Line (Football Friday No. 23)

Name: Emmitt Smith
Team: Dallas Cowboys
Position: Running back
Value of card: Not for sale
Key 1993 stat: $1.4 million spent on Emmitt Smith merchandise — by Emmitt Smith
Open for business: As a budding superstar in 1993, Emmitt Smith had a entrepreneurial notion to open a store selling only Emmitt merchandise. Smith bought everything he could that had his face or name on it. Football cards, action figures, newspaper articles — it was all for sale at Catch-22 in downtown Dallas. There was just one problem: Emmitt couldn't bear to part with any of his keepsakes. Every time a prospective customer chose an item, Emmitt would hesitate, blink rapidly and mutter, "Not for sale." When customers would point out that the item had a price tag, Emmitt would fly into a rage, point to a small sign reading "No cleats, no jersey, no service" and escort them from the shop. Losing money rapidly, Emmitt took drastic measures. He purchased crates of Bruce Smith memorabilia, scratched out the first name and replaced it with his own. Catch-22 shut down after three months.

Emmitt Smith, 1993 Pro Line (Football Friday No. 23)

Emmitt Smith, 1993 Skybox (Football Friday No. 17)

Name: Emmitt Smith
Team: Dallas Cowboys
Position: Running back
Value of card: 22 catches
Key 1992 stat: No shoulder pads
Great moments in sports card photography: Yeah, this card is a catch-22, alright. Here we have Emmitt Smith, emerging superstar, posing for a special edition football card, one of the true highlights of any professional athlete's career. Yet something is not quite right. Maybe it's the lighting, which seems to be hitting the Dallas skyline from the left and Emmitt from the right — meaning either Emmitt is posing in front of a photo or he's in some kind of physics-challenged universe. (Well, it is Dallas.) The sun is shining off those skyscrapers, yet Emmitt's F necklace isn't glinting at all! The most noticeable thing about Emmitt in this photo may be the bulge in his chest-high pants. It's possible he stuffed a live raccoon down his trousers. Thankfully, in this bizarro world, Emmitt is managing to keep his helmet from flying away by standing on it. Just terrible work all around by Skybox. We at the Bust give this card an F (necklace) for effort.

Emmitt Smith, 1993 Skybox (Football Friday No. 17)