Greg Anthony, 1992 Topps Draft Pick

Name: Greg Anthony
Team: San Diego Padres
Position: Pitcher
Value of card: The dictionary page with the word "bust" on it, torn out
Key 1991 stat: Always tried to blend into the background
San Diego Padres scouting report on draft pick Greg Anthony: "He's got three solid pitches      by which we mean we need to limit his pitch count to three. ... He's very insistent that we change our uniforms to paisley. ... Plus-plus ability to pose in front of trees. ... Almost strangled himself with his own necklace a couple of times. ... Eats Vienna sausages by the case. ... It's always risky drafting a two-sport star, but he could pay off. Wait, this is UNLV's Greg Anthony, right? No? That's it, I resign."

Greg Anthony, 1992 Topps Draft Pick

Al Holland, 1981 Fleer

Name: Al Holland
Team: San Francisco Giants
Position: Pitcher (possibly a belly-itcher)
Value of card: 2 cat hairballs
Key 1980 stat: $12,876 annual salary as South San Francisco garbage collector
Gaze upon him: Here we have style maven Al Holland. The talented pitcher set out each day to redefine fashion on the diamond. He eschewed baseball caps, saying men who always wore hair helmets didn't need them. He sewed his own jacket from a tarp that spent two winters covering a wood pile. Why? Because he could. He grew a mustache that frowned for him when reporters questioned his fashion choices. His mutton chops? Epic. They were as thick as most lumberjacks' beards — but who needs a beard with a chin that manly? We salute you, Al Holland. A true style Giant.

Al Holland, 1981 Fleer

Marty Schottenheimer, 1991 Pro Line Portraits (Shameful Sunday Portraits No. 46)

Name: Marty Schottenheimer
Team: Kansas City Chiefs
Position: Head coach
Value of card: 4 strands of wool
Key 1990 stat: 4 "Tecmo Bowl" plays used in a game
Some fashion tips from coach Marty Schottenheimer:

• "Your sweater should have at least five sections; but six or more is preferred."
• "Whenever you can put a logo on your slacks, do it. Ladies love logos."
• "When you get a new hat, don't adjust it. In fact, don't even look at it. Just put it on your head."
• "There's nothing wrong with feminine cuffs."
• "Have your great-aunt sew you a sweater when you have to look your best."
• "Wool is the perfect fabric for special occasions."

Marty Schottenheimer, 1991 Pro Line Portraits (Shameful Sunday Portraits No. 46)

Ryan Hawblitzel, 1992 Bowman (Return of Bowman Fashion Week No. 7)

Name: Ryan Hawblitzel
Team: Chicago Cubs
Position: Pitcher
Value of card: Zero (fashion) cents
Key 1991 stat: 221 hours practicing the "thumbs in the jeans pockets" look
Today's fashion model: Here we have Ryan Hawblitzel, an ace when it came to style (and style alone). No one in the big leagues sported minor-league outfits with such pride and pizazz. A collared sweatshirt tucked into jeans? Why not? A player known for his exploits on the diamond wearing a shirt of intersecting diamonds? Of course. A guy who looks like an actor standing in front of a housing development pond and acting like he's the coolest guy in high school? You bet. Don't question fashion maven Ryan Hawblitzel, a minor-leaguer with big-league style.

Ryan Hawblitzel, 1992 Bowman (Return of Bowman Fashion Week No. 7)

Felipe Crespo, 1992 Bowman (Return of Bowman Fashion Week No. 6)

Name: Felipe Crespo
Team: Toronto Blue Jays
Position: Outfield
Value of card: Even trade for a Mervyns $5 off coupon that expired in 1996
Key 1991 stat: 32 pinstripes (not the Yankees variety)
Today's fashion model: Here we have Felipe Crespo, who, it appears, has been thrown in fashion jail. Why was he thrown in fashion jail? Perhaps it's all those pinstripes, including the one that's plastered across his forehead in the form of eyebrows. Or maybe it's that belt, which he might have borrowed from Crocodile Dundee. Or maybe it's your grandpa's trousers that he's wearing. Nope, we got it: It's all of the above.

Felipe Crespo, 1992 Bowman (Return of Bowman Fashion Week No. 6)

Doug Linton, 1992 Bowman (Return of Bowman Fashion Week No. 5)

Name: Doug Linton
Team: Toronto Blue Jays
Position: Pitcher
Value of card: Two Easter eggs with dead chicks inside
Key 1991 stat: 52 Sundays at church
Today's fashion model: Here we have Doug Linton, a good boy who always listened to his mother when it came to his fashion choices in the early 1990s. Dougie made sure he tucked in his shirt and ironed his khakis every day. On Sundays, he would dress nicely for church, but he saved his best pastel shirt for Easter. Above, we see him after the Easter service and family IHOP brunch, when his parents drove him to the local Sears for the annual springtime shoot. Soon after this photo was taken, lil' Dougie got his reward for being such a good boy: a chance to sit on the Easter Bunny's lap and feel his eggs.

Doug Linton, 1992 Bowman (Return of Bowman Fashion Week No. 5)

Jeff Jackson, 1992 Bowman (Return of Bowman Fashion Week No. 4)

Name: Jeff Jackson
Teams: Philadelphia Phillies, "A Different World" cast
Position: Outfield
Value of card: That coin hanging from Jackson's neck
Key 1991 stat: 26 minutes posing in front of a paint crew's truck
Today's fashion model: Here we have Jeff Jackson, who was, obviously, a colorful guy. When Jackson was asked to explain his fashion style, he projectile-vomited after eating a rainbow-color snow cone and everyone agreed he nailed his explanation. When he mistakenly entered the Federal Institute for the Blind, 12 men wearing dark glasses and being led around by service dogs turned to him and said, "That's a hideous shirt." When he walked into a geometry class, the teacher hung Jackson's shirt on the blackboard and said, "Study that." When he stopped to look at a graffiti artist's mural, the wall slunk away in embarrassment. When he tried to buy stereo equipment, the workers asked him to turn down the volume on his shirt. So here's to Jeff Jackson, the brightest guy in the room.

Jeff Jackson, 1992 Bowman (Return of Bowman Fashion Week No. 4)

Dave Doorneweerd, 1992 Bowman (Return of Bowman Fashion Week No. 3)

Name: Dave Doorneweerd
Team: Augusta Pirates
Position: Pitcher
Value of card: Two chicken legs (like Dave's      not actual food)
Key 1991 stat: One funky last name
Today's fashion model: Here we have Dave Doorneweerd, and while his name may be "weerd" indeed, his taste in clothing is impeccable. Dave appears to pondering the depths of fashion while wearing a multicolored polo shirt that has been through the wash approximately 2,083 times. Sure, it's a little faded now, but when that baby was new, it could be seen from space. Some style experts may say that four colors is too many when it comes to casual wear, but Dave proves that theory wrong. Sadly, this photo fails to show us what, if anything, this young pitcher is wearing below the waist. Whatever it is, you can tell that Mr. Doorneweerd isn't afraid to show a little skin. Keep up the bold choices, Dave, and we're sure the majors will be calling any day now!

Dave Doorneweerd, 1992 Bowman (Return of Bowman Fashion Week No. 3)

Damon Buford, 1992 Bowman (Return of Bowman Fashion Week No. 2)

Name: Damon Buford
Team: Baltimore Orioles
Position: Outfield
Value of card: A case of poison ivy
Key 1991 stat: Two shades of gray
Today's fashion model: Today we have Damon Buford, a center fielder who might have a few holes in his swing, but doesn't have any in his wardrobe. Damon is looking dapper, wearing a suit that he made himself out of the drapes from his parents' bedroom. Even repurposed, those curtains still hang elegantly. Damon scoffs at the notion that belts need to be "tight" or "hold things up." Instead, he has taken an airplane seat belt and wrapped it nonchalantly around his waist. Touché! And Damon's brand new black mock-turtleneck completes his look, which resembles something a not-very-talented jazz musician might wear. With this much style, there's no doubt that Damon is "da man."

Damon Buford, 1992 Bowman (Return of Bowman Fashion Week No. 2)

Joe Perona, 1992 Bowman (Return of Bowman Fashion Week No. 1)

Name: Joe Perona
Team: Lakeland Tigers 
Position: Catcher
Value of card: An empty bottle of Peroni
Key 1991 stat: Due to fair skin, unable to stand in the sun for more than five minutes
Spring training + spring fashion = the return of a classic: A few months back, the Bust set the fashion world on its head with Bowman Fashion Week, seven days' worth of cards from the 1992 Bowman set featuring a bunch of rookies and minor-leaguers wearing atrocious clothing. It was so popular, traffic to our site more than doubled, garnering up to 20 visitors per day. Hey, we're not ones to mess with success, so cover your eyeballs      it's time for more early '90s style.

Today's fashion model: Here we see Detroit Tigers draft choice Joe Perona taking a break in the shade. Too bad, Joe      your clothes are still hot! Joe's wearing an oversize button-down that incorporates every color known to man. And yes, those buttons do go all the way up. What's that you say? The pattern looks like somebody threw this shirt into the dryer with a bag of Skittles? Well, it's time to taste the rainbow! The bagginess of Joe's shirt is a tactical choice, covering his underdeveloped biceps and girlish waist, thus making him look more like an actual athlete. Downstairs, Joe's wearing a pair of his dad's Dockers and his only belt, a classic black number that he's had since he was 14. And while Joe will never make it past AA in baseball, that black leather wristwatch is ready for The Show. Cheers to you Joe      looking like this, you'll never be Perona non grata!

Joe Perona, 1992 Bowman (Return of Bowman Fashion Week No. 1)

Carlos Garcia, 1997 Score

Name: Carlos Garcia
Team: Toronto Blue Jays
Position: Second base
Value of card: Burning garbage
Key 1997 stat: Thought it was OK to look like this in public
Don't ask: Why is Carlos Garcia wearing that, erm, thing around his head?

A) Out of sympathy for his dog, Cheesestick, who was wearing a cone after getting fixed.
B) To keep himself from gnawing at his nethers, because he also just got fixed.
C) To cover up a giant hickey on his neck. Because this is much less embarrassing.
D) He was modeling his latest fashion idea, the SuperTurtleneck.
E) To block out the constant booing of the fans.

Carlos Garcia, 1997 Score

Greg Blosser, 1992 Bowman

Name: Greg Blosser
Team: Boston Red Sox
Position: Outfield
Value of card: Six bottle caps flattened with a steamroller and stuck in asphalt
Key 1991 stat: 46 resumes submitted
10 reasons Greg Blosser didn't get the job at the local cellphone store:
10) He forgot to wear pants to the interview.
9) The interviewer was afraid of invisible facial hair.
8) The diamond on his shirt pocket read, "Bosses are for suckers."
7) He said he would only sell "the Zack Morris special."
6) Two words: mullet intimidation.
5) He shouldn't have submitted a Sears portrait in place of a resume
4) His Arizona jeans collared shirt interfered with cellphone reception.
3) The interviewer didn't like that he partied, even if it was only a party in the back and business in the front.
2) His grandfather interrupted the interview and asked for his tie back.
1) He said he played baseball; the interviewer laughed him out of the room.

Greg Blosser, 1992 Bowman

Alex Gonzalez, 1992 Bowman

Name: Alex Gonzalez
Team: Toronto Blue Jays
Position: Shortstop
Value of card: 10 of those shirt collar "stays" you're always losing
Key 1991 stat: 44 "Saved by the Bell" episodes watched
It's time for a 1990s-licious pop quiz:

Why did teenager Alex Gonzalez wear that tie?

(A) His mom told him to.
(B) To distract people from his shirt.
(C) It was Sears catalog photo shoot day.
(D) He wanted to prove his patriotism with something brighter than fireworks.
(E) He had an uproarious sense of humor.
(F) All of the above

Alex Gonzalez, 1992 Bowman

Ryan Long, 1992 Bowman

Name: Ryan Long
Team: Kansas City Royals
Position: Outfield
Value of card: 16 rotten oranges
Key 1991 stat: One high school senior portrait used on a baseball card
Ryan Long's dating profile, circa 1991:

Screen name: LongGone25
Age: 18
Height: 6 feet 2 and growing
Weight: 190 pounds and drowning in muscles
Hair color: Brunette
Hairstyle: Fresh
Ethnicity: As white as they come
Want children? Still a child
Past relationships: Dated Kelly Kapowski
Best feature: Shades
Smoke? Cigarettes aren't cool, dude
Drink? You don't have to drink to be radical

Seeking: Pretty, popular girls
Location: High school
Her height: A-plus
Her body type: Cheerleader
Her ethnicity: As white as me

About me: Hey, babes. Ryan here. I'm just a cool dude looking for a chica to be at my side. I'm pretty much the most popular guy in school, and I'm looking for a girl who's just as popular — and not make-believe. I like to cruise around in my red Camaro, make fun of nerds, shoot hoops with the bros, and wear my sunglasses at night. I hope you're cool — and hot — enough to do those things with me. Catch ya later, skater.

Ryan Long, 1992 Bowman

Joe Randa, 1992 Bowman Foil

Name: Joe Randa
Teams: Kansas City Royals; Kmart teen model talent pool
Positions: Third base; posing
Value of card: 1/100th of an ounce of fake gold foil
Key 1991 stat: 14 catalog spreads
Here's what Joe Randa stands for:

Jeans were as tight as his turtleneck was mocked
Obsession cologne overdose could have killed a family of skunks
Everyman look starts with a sweet white-boy wave

Rugby jersey straight from Sears' Cherokee line
Acid-washed jeans drove the ladies wild
Nondenominational church belt shows a touch of class
Dumb look on his face was part of the ensemble
Another example of studly 1990s style

Joe Randa, 1992 Bowman Foil

Derek Lowe, 1992 Bowman (Bowman Fashion Week No. 7)

Name: Derek Lowe
Team: Seattle Mariners
Positions: Pitcher, leaning against a tree
Value of card: It's very Lowe
Key 1991 stat: Cheeks rosy 72 percent of the time
Today's fashion model: We finish this week of haute couture with a baby-faced Derek Lowe. Let's begin with the dominant element of his outfit, the tri-tone, five-stripe, size-XXXL long-sleeve polo shirt. Having been born in Michigan, Lowe stays warm      and hot!      with sleeves that would cover his fingers were they not pulled up at the wrist. Of course, Derek keeps his cool by refusing to button up his collar, thereby showing off the undershirt he's wearing under that acre of striped finery. Of course, let's not forget what's going on downstairs. With hips so slim, Derek requires not one but TWO buttons to keep his jeans from falling off. Sorry, ladies! And is it just us, or do those pockets go all the way to the knees? Of course, that may be necessary just to hold all the hearts this hunk is going to steal.

Derek Lowe, 1992 Bowman (Bowman Fashion Week No. 7)

Ugueth Urbina, 1992 Bowman (Bowman Fashion Week No. 6)

Name: Ugueth Urbina
Team: Montreal Expos
Position: Pitcher
Value of card: The socks off Urbina's feet
Key 1991 stat: 37 monuments visited
Today's fashion model: Feast your eyes on a man with a cannon for an arm, a man whose fashion sense is of another caliber. From parachute shirt to shoes without socks, he's firing on all cylinders. You like shiny man legs? Boom! You like windblown leopard-print shirts. Boom! You like Bermuda shorts on a Venezuelan? Boom! Now that's some explosive style. Forget the slider and splitter, Urbina's biggest weapon is obvious: It's his subtle hint of suggestion.

Ugueth Urbina, 1992 Bowman (Bowman Fashion Week No. 6)

Manny Ramirez, 1992 Bowman (Bowman Fashion Week No. 5)

Name: Manny Ramirez
Team: Cleveland Indians
Position: Outfield
Value of card: 6 ounces of L.A. Looks hair gel
Key 1991 stat: 26 horizontal stripes
Today's fashion model: Gaze upon young Manny Ramirez, lucky reader, as he single-handedly refocuses inner-city style in early 1990s New York. His chosen design? Stripes. How many? Enough. Stare long enough and you'll be lost in his blouse as if it were a Magic Eye poster. But don't let the stripes distract you; the real star of the shirt is the mini-mock turtleneck, a style seldom seen outside medieval cathedrals. Tantalizing, especially when packaged with jewelry. Manny's earring? Glistening in the soft spring sun. His hair? Blinding, from the overabundance of hair gel applied with a kitchen mop. Young Manny wasn't done making bold choices, oh no. He opted for the loose tuck, with his shirt tucked in but with at least 6 inches remaining in a bunch flopping over his black stonewashed jeans. That's radical. And then there's the watch. It's tough to see here, but the hour hand is a bat and the minute hand is a ball. For young Manny, it's always 12 o'clock.

Manny Ramirez, 1992 Bowman (Bowman Fashion Week No. 5)

Mariano Rivera, 1992 Bowman (Bowman Fashion Week No. 4)

Name: Mariano Rivera
Team: New York Yankees
Position: Pitcher
Value of card: 17 peanut shells, stepped on
Key 1991 stat: Lived in a stadium
Today's fashion model: Here we see 14-year-old Mariano Rivera modeling the latest trends for junior boys. His cuffed and collared polo shirt featuring the logo of every NFL team can be found at finer Sears outlets near you, and it comes with a matching pajama set. His white Dockers are grass-stain resistant, making them fun and fashionable for him and easy to clean for his mom. Another point in these pants' favor: extra room in the crotch to help avoid any schooltime embarrassment      hold that Trapper Keeper up high, Mariano, no one's going to be able to tell what you've been thinking about!

Mariano Rivera, 1992 Bowman (Bowman Fashion Week No. 4)

Todd Jones, 1992 Bowman (Bowman Fashion Week No. 3)

Name: Todd Jones
Team: Houston Astros
Position: Pitcher
Value of card: One of those hairstyle books you see at Supercuts, circa 1992
Key 1991 stat: Mustache thicker than eyebrows
Today's Fashion Model: Let's take a look at fierce young fireballer Todd Jones. Yes, ladies, that is a JCPenney store brand woman's blouse Mr. Jones is daring to don in this photo. But with the help of an immaculate white undershirt and two different styles of almost-gold chains, Todd pulls it off with masculine flair. What was once a flowery top has transformed into a jungle scene befitting this future Tiger. Todd keeps the fashion flowing above the neckline, as well, sporting a month-old flat top and a pseudo-handlebar mustache with a 2-inch gap in the middle of it, both of which form a lovely color scheme with his vivacious V-neck. Todd's not afraid to push the envelope with his style sense, and we give this look our stamp of approval.

Todd Jones, 1992 Bowman (Bowman Fashion Week No. 3)