Greg Luzinski, 1984 Fleer

Name: Greg Luzinski
Team: Chicago White Sox
Position: Designated hitter
Value of card: A circle
Key 1983 stat: Beard made of 50,000 porcupine spines
The end of an era: Dear readers (yes, all 11 of you), nearly six years ago, we started this little website with one simple goal: to become famous and rich enough that we could quit our jobs. Now, while we did get quoted in the New York Times, that plan hasn't really panned out. Nonetheless, we've had a lot of fun and laughs bringing you some of the most hideous, dated, airbrushed and ridiculous cards we've encountered.

Today's post is No. 2,098      and the last for us here at the Bust. We know that there are thousands more cards out there worthy of skewering, but life has gotten in the way and it is time for the Bust Cup to return to its trophy case. We want to sincerely thank everybody who contributed cards to our site and helped us along the way. We know there are some of you out there who check this page every day, and while we won't be adding new cards, you can view a random post by clicking the button at the top of our sidebar. Not a great consolation, we know, but we're guessing there are a few you've missed over the years.

So, that's all, friends. We leave you with the man who started it all, Greg Luzinski, The Kodiak Brute, grinding away at his shaft for all eternity. Take care.

Greg Luzinski, 1984 Fleer

Greg Luzinski, 1984 Topps Purina Dog Chow Insert

Name: Greg Luzinski

Team: Chicago White Sox

Positions: Designated Hitter, Lumberjack

Value of card: 12 cents

Key 1983 stat: One triple

Background: Luzinski, known as The Kodiak Brute, was raised in a family of lumberjacks in Kodiak, Alaska. The 225-pound slugger spent his formative years wrestling brown bears and chewing on tree trunks. At age 10, Luzinski entered the seedy world of competitive beard growing. He flourished. After dropping out of school at age 11, Luzinski split time between grooming his award-winning whiskers and chopping down Alaskan forests. On a sunny night during the Alaskan winter, a major league scout who spent the offseason breeding sled dogs happened upon a shirtless Luzinski cutting down Douglas firs -- with his bare hands. The scout hiked 14 miles to the nearest pay phone and called the Chicago White Sox owner. Luzinski was signed for $84,000 and a case of brook trout. Two hundred and ninety-four home runs and six optometrists later, American League pitchers shivered at the sight of The Kodiak Brute, hitter of home runs and shatterer of laws of physics.

Greg Luzinski, 1984 Topps Purina Dog Chow Insert