Lou Brock and Rickey Henderson, 1991 Upper Deck

Names: Lou Brock and Rickey Henderson
Teams: St. Louis Cardinals and Oakland A's
Positions: Outfield
Value of card: Two soiled clip-on bow ties and matching pocket squares
Key 1991 stat: One fake fight

Brock and Henderson, by the numbers:

938: Career stolen bases by Lou Brock, a record until May 1, 1991
939: New stolen-base mark, set by Rickey Henderson on May 1, 1991
940: Times Rickey referred to himself in the third person on May 1, 1991

335: Times Rickey Henderson was caught stealing, an MLB record
307: Times Lou Brock was caught stealing, second all-time
302: Times Rickey was caught checking himself out in the mirror before this photo shoot

2: Rented tuxedos in the above photo
2: Bow ties and pocket squares from a high school drama department in the above photo
1: Record-setting thief who would "forget" to return his outfit after the shoot. Hey, Rickey be Rickey.

Lou Brock and Rickey Henderson, 1991 Upper Deck

Dwight Evans, 1987 Topps Record Breaker

Name: Dwight Evans
Team: Boston Red Sox
Position: Right field
Value of card: Coffee grounds from the garbage can
Key 1986 stat: Got the worm
Opening Day overachiever: As noted on the above card, Dwight Evans holds the record for the earliest home run in a season, hitting one out on the first pitch of the first game of the year. Here are some other records and achievements that belong to Evans:

• Earliest bulge, season
• Most times called "shotgun," lifetime
• First beer chugged, Roger Clemens' 23rd birthday party
• First person to touch Mookie Wilson's 10th-inning grounder, Game 6 of the '86 World Series
• Caused the most collectors to say, "That deserves a card?" all time

Dwight Evans, 1987 Topps Record Breaker

Prince Fielder, 2013 Topps

Name: Prince Fielder
Team: Detroit Tigers
Position: First base
Value of card: Not as much as the giant canvas it's printed on
Key 2013 stat: Had a baseball card even bigger than his contract
A Bust of historic proportions: Earlier this week, Topps unveiled the biggest baseball card ever made      a print of Prince Fielder's 2013 Topps Series 1 card. It certainly is impressive, but what's the most surprising thing about this colossal collectible?

A) Despite the huge image area, Topps still couldn't fit all of Fielder's butt on the card
B) That it covers more ground than Fielder can at first base (wait, no, that's not surprising)
C) That Fielder doesn't actually already use a 45-foot-long bat
D) That it featured the 2011 All-Star Game MVP instead of, you know, the 2011 AL MVP or maybe the 2012 triple crown winner.
E) That Jim Leyland wasn't out on the field smoking.

Photo courtesy of Topps

Prince Fielder, 2013 Topps

John Naber, 1991 U.S. Olympic Cards (Summer Olympics Special No. 7)

Name: John Naber
Event: Swimming
Medal count: 4 gold, 1 silver
Value of card: It's not clear
Key 1976 stat: Photographers unable to take horizontal photos
They call him The Streak: John Naber won four gold medals at the 1976 Summer Games, all in world record times. But just how fast was he?

• John Naber was so fast, cameras were unable to capture him in focus.
• He was so fast, even his sideburns couldn't keep up with him.
• He was so fast, this card could only show him from the waist up because his suit was falling off.
• He was so fast, he couldn't keep his mouth closed.
• He was so fast, he didn't have time to spell "neighbor" properly.
• John Naber was so dang fast, he could swim the English Channel, the Panama Canal and the Mississippi River in the time it takes you to wash your hands. You do wash your hands, don't you? Heathen.

John Naber, 1991 U.S. Olympic Cards (Summer Olympics Special No. 7)

Joel Youngblood, 1982 Topps

Name: Joel Youngblood
Team: New York Mets
Position: Outfield
Value of card: Astoundingly little
Key 1982 stat: A meaningless piece of history
A strange, strange man: Joel Youngblood is responsible for one of the oddest feats in baseball history, and it doesn't even have anything to do with the face he's making above. On Aug. 4, 1982, Youngblood became the only player to get hits for two different teams in two different cities on the same day. After Youngblood hit a two-RBI single in the third inning for the Mets in an afternoon game at Wrigley Field against the Cubs, he was replaced in center field and traded to the Expos for a player to be named later. Youngblood hurried to Philadelphia to be with his new team, and hit a seventh-inning single. However, there is little evidence to support the rumor that he took part in a different "doubleheader," this one involving two different prostitutes in said cities on the same day.

Joel Youngblood, 1982 Topps

Dave Lopes, 1987 Topps '86 Record Breaker

Name: Dave "Davey" Lopes

Team: Houston Astros

Position: Second base

Value of card: 40 cents

Key 1986 stat: 11 records broken, season, 40-year-old

10 other records Davey Lopes broke in 1986:

10) Most wrinkles, face, 40-year-old

9) Most stolen TVs, season, 40-year-old

8) Most barf colors, shoulder patches, 40-year-old

7) Most regrets, life, 40-year-old

6) Most name changes from "Lopez," genealogical history, 40-year-old

5) Most freebases, season, 40-year-old

4) Most mustache, upper lip, 40-year-old

3) Most days without hair-washing, season, 40-year-old

2) Most wood-grainy face, season, 40-year-old

1) Most worthless baseball record, ever, any age

Card submitted by Patrick Cant

Dave Lopes, 1987 Topps '86 Record Breaker

Orel Hershiser, 1989 Donruss

Name: Orel Hershiser

Team: Los Angeles Dodgers

Position: Ace

Value of card: 59 cents ... and counting

Key 1988 stat: One unbreakable record

A lot to juggle: 1988 was the Year of the Bulldog. Orel "The Bulldog" Hershiser was at the top of his game, baffling hitters and leading the Dodgers to a World Series title. But the ring and the accolades weren't enough. Did Hershiser turn to broads, booze or barbiturates? No, he turned to the most addictive of all habits: juggling. Hershiser grabbed his balls with reckless abandon, tossing them in the air over and over and over again. He became so obsessed he barely found time to eat or sleep, and the ravages on his body, specifically his neck, can be seen above. After months of practice, Hershiser started on his greatest pursuit, he would juggle nonstop for as long as he could, no matter the consequences. At 59 days, he was still counting.

Orel Hershiser, 1989 Donruss